How Your Finances Are Impacting Your Love Life


It’s wedding season!

Traditionally, June is the most popular month to marry beginning as far back as ancient Rome. With love on the horizon, we’re all reminded of the many reasons people choose a life partner. Some women declare that they like a man who is tall, dark, and handsome, and some men profess their love for beautiful women who can cook. Did you know that your financial choices can be attractive to a potential partner? In fact, have you ever wondered what men and women find financially attractive about each other? Here’s what I found.

Women Love a Man Who Plans

Typically, women are deeply concerned about financial security. To this end, one of the things women find attractive or sexy about a man financially is whether or not he has an emergency fund. Does he have a plan when the chips are down? How are bills going to get paid during seasons of unemployment or financial crisis? These realities make having an emergency fund quite attractive to a woman.

Women are also attracted to men who pay their bills on time. Such consistent and disciplined action suggests that he is responsible and pays attention to his affairs. Sure, he can drive a fancy car, and look good, but what’s up with his credit? Paying bills on time impacts credit and women find men with good credit sexy.

Most importantly, women are attracted to a man with a financial plan. Where is he going? What is his ceiling or trajectory? Does he have a plan to grow financially or professionally in the next three to five years? What is he doing to achieve those goals? Is he all talk and no action? All bark and no bite? Or does he set measurable goals and knock them out the park? The point is that financial attraction for women is influenced by men having plans, working on them, and they may even be ready willing and able to make adjustments to those plans if they are not working. That’s sexy!

Men Love a Woman Who is Disciplined

It is widely believed that most men prioritize how their spouse or partner looks. While it is not breaking news that men are visual, according to a survey conducted by The Ascent, a company that provides information for people’s everyday money concerns, about 68.2 percent of men interviewed found attraction in a partner who followed budgeting. The reason given by these men was that they think people who don’t follow a budget usually overspend and the family could end up in debt. Let me hasten to say, I don’t think these man want to be financial dictators either, although I have known some dictators in my time. Their concern is not to control a woman’s spending, but rather to discern whether or not a woman disciplined in her spending.

In that same survey, 63 percent of men found a partner who paid bills on time attractive. In other words, men recognize that paying bills late impacts the family credit and can thus cause problems when seeking loans or purchasing assets for the family. These men also recognize the impact of not paying bills on time on their credit score.

Financial Stability is SEXY

It is important to note that financial attraction is not restricted exclusively to financial habits. In fact, the survey indicated that 65.1 percent of men found a woman who is employed full-time attractive. And conversely 76.1 percent of women found a man who is employed full-time attractive. The thinking here is that full-time employment signals to a potential partner that you are responsible and driven.

Whether you are married, getting married, in a relationship, or just looking, financial attraction plays a critical role in romantic relationships. One take away for today is that finances and money are too important for you to not talk about either before or during the relationship. In a 2016 survey, the National Foundation for Credit Counseling found that 68 percent of respondents had a negative attitude towards discussing finances with their fiancé prior to marriage. This number is quite telling given the reality that some of the main reasons for divorce today revolves around financial issues which oftentimes include financial infidelity.

I’m not a marriage counselor, but if you want to bring back attraction, romance and spice up your relationship, try changing or improving your financial behavior. Try becoming more intentional, disciplined, and responsible concerning your money. It just might be the boost that your love life has been looking for.

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