Twin Destinies: A Single Father’s Choice To Be There For His Sons
My first contact with David and Daniel Robinson, nine-year old twins, was in my office with their biological father. The boys lived with Robinson because of their mother’s alcohol and drug addiction, and he determined that he was not giving up on his family. He took counsel with the Proverb “Whosoever brings ruin to their family will inherit only the wind and the fool will be servant to the wise.”
After giving birth to her boys, their mother left the children at the hospital. The twins grew up seeing her on the streets in the neighborhood associating with the addicts and alcoholics. She would sometimes get into a car, turning her face to prevent being noticed. She came home sometimes and Robinson allowed her to stay for a few days but she would always return to the streets. Years later it was apparent that Robinson was angry and hurt; angry because she left her family for a lifestyle of destruction. He was hurt because he loved her and she went away.
Faithful father and mother
Robinson had assumed the role of father and mother. He had filed for full custody and was thrust into developing parenting skills and providing a quality life for his children early on. Both brothers were diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit hypertension disorder)and Robinson followed up with therapy. Over the years he was faithful in maintaining regular therapy sessions and medications for them. He helped them follow the recommendations of a psychiatrist. And, he supported their IEP (Individual Educational Plan) when their teachers raised red flags because of their behavior.
On many occasions Robinson showed his concern for the well-being of his sons but the behavior of the boys started becoming more rebellious especially during the 10th grade. In spite of their father’s nurture, their mother’s abandonment weighed heavily on them and they were acting out.
David had difficulty maintaining control over his impulses and his influence over Daniel caused him to emulate his behavior. Their interactions with each other were also contentious. The Bible’s story of twins Esau and Jacob who were adversaries, with their descendants striving continuously (Genesis 25 :19-26) reminded me of the Robinsons. They could give Jacob and Esau a run for their money. Strife existed consistently.
Last year the twins graduated from high school. That achievement was not without disaster. During one English class David and a classmate observed the teacher putting her car keys in her desk. They stole the keys to her car and before school was out, they were joy riding. They hid the car on a lot where the police found it the next day.
I was astonished that David would make a decision that would change his life forever just three weeks before graduation. Fortunately Daniel was not involved and only David was arrested. So, as Daniel walked across the stage to graduate, David sat in jail awaiting a resolution to his case. Later the school gave David his diploma after he was placed on probation.
Where to find answers
Still, Robinson was searching for answers and called me, crying for his sons. I asked if he wanted to pray about his situation and he agreed. After we prayed he said he was going to church. The children nor he had developed a relationship with the Lord until the crisis escalated with David. Robinson was reared in the home of two alcoholics who had no religious affiliation. Their belief in God was minimal. This became significant when the father searched for answers.
I encouraged him to search for answers with the Lord, knowing that He would provide a way. Isaiah 40:29 states: “He gives strength to the weary and increases power to the weak.” He was weary and he wanted to help his sons. One thing was clear though, his sons were not ready to help themselves.
After high school, both boys smoked marijuana and drank alcohol daily.
Recently I received a call from Robinson who was angry about David’s arrest for breaking into the home of someone who had extended kindness to him in the past. David had attempted to sell the stolen items to him to another neighbor who told Robinson. When David called home, he denied that it was him and said Daniel was the one involved. David and Daniel were later arrested. David confessed but he informed the police that Daniel was involved too. Robinson was furious because he was sure David lied regarding Daniel’s involvement. David would now serve the sentence for stealing his teacher’s car–he had been on probation– and face the new charge for breaking into his neighbor’s home. That’s where both are today, awaiting trial.
Hurt and angry regarding the outcome of his twins, Robinson has committed again that he would not allow his sons to bring his household to destruction. He will help them, but if they choose a lifestyle of crime then he will not allow them to stay in his home. Robinson’s voice trembled as he stated that the consistent encouragement he receives comes from a better relationship with the Lord. “I will keep praying for my boys.”