At the Heart of the Black Single Journey is Active Love



Let’s get it straight. This journey as black singles is like crafting and understanding your core values and living a life that demonstrates biblical truths rather than just talking about them. Our quest for meaning and for understanding our place in this world finds its roots in our unique experience. Our spirituality gives us a powerful lens to explore this. It connects us to our legacy of resistance, joy, and faithfulness.More than that, as Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13:2, if we don’t have love, we’re nothing.  So, this journey has got to be bigger than just finding romance. You feel me?

We have the privilege of embracing godly love in all its forms – in our relationship with God first, our community, and those who paved our way – our forebearers.

When we ground ourselves in faith, we’re building something special. We’re cultivating understanding, patience, forgiveness, and community – the very things any strong relationship needs. Think about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s mindset on love being the solution to all human problems. This love, rooted in faith and our collective history and struggles, lights up our path to finding the right companions.

For those of you on this journey, finding the right resources and communities is key. Prayerfully connect with conscious-minded groups, online communities, and events where you can meet others walking the same path.

Embracing Growth and Love

Investing in your spiritual growth and faith is about becoming the best version of yourself. When I was reeling from a failed relationship with my former fiancé, my friend and church brother, Daryl, taught me that it was about living with purpose and trusting that this path will lead us, not just to our life partner, but to a lasting connection that’s enriching and fulfilling. This reminds me of a powerful verse from the Bible, Romans 8:28: “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” This verse resonates deeply, reminding me that every experience, even the painful ones, is part of a larger, divine plan.

Daryl emphasized that our spiritual path isn’t only about finding a life partner. It’s about cultivating a connection with God, which leads to relationships that are enriching, fulfilling, and aligned with our deepest values. Just as Proverbs 3:5-6 advises, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Daryl’s counsel was to lean on this trust, to seek God’s will, and to allow that guidance to shape not just my love life but my entire life’s journey.

Navigating Challenges

Sure, the path ain’t always easy. We face pressures, biases, and discrimination. There’s always someone telling us exactly what our relationships are supposed to look like. But let faith in God be your compass, guiding us through the darkness, reminding us of our value and that our God has given us the privilege to love and be loved even if our mothers, fathers, and grandparents were not the perfect examples.

In the challenging journey of relationships, we often look to human examples for guidance. However, it’s crucial to remember that our ultimate guide and example is found in God’s love. Our earthly relationships may not always provide the perfect blueprint, but in God, we find the true essence of love, acceptance, and grace. He reminds us that we are worthy of love, irrespective of the flaws and shortcomings in the relationships we’ve witnessed or experienced. Their journeys, marred by human imperfections, might have painted for us a skewed picture of what love and companionship should look like.

But here’s the powerful truth: our value and our right to experience and give love are not contingent on these human examples. Instead, they are deeply rooted in the love that God has for each of us. As 1 John 4:16 tells us, “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.” God’s love is the perfect model.

As we trudge through the complexities of relationships and the challenges that life throws our way, let us cling to this faith in God’s love. Let Him be the light that guides us through the darkest tunnels, the anchor that holds us steady amidst the stormiest seas of societal expectations and personal doubts.

Our journey to find love and build healthy relationships does not have to mirror the imperfections we’ve seen or experienced. By the way,  I am really thankful for that! With God, we are empowered to chart a new course – one that leads us to relationships grounded in mutual respect, deep understanding, and the kind of love that reflects the heart of God.

Drawing Inspiration

We stand on the shoulders of giants – Harriet Tubman, Ida B. Wells-Barnett, Martin Luther King Jr., and Coretta Scott King – who showed us the enduring power of love even amidst struggle. Their stories light our way, showing us that love can WIN in even the hardest of times. It seems like forever ago that these stalwarts walked the earth, but their examples remain etched in our minds.

Blooming into Wholeness

This journey we’re on? It’s for all of us. It’s all about nurturing our connection with God and each other. It’s about living with purpose, embracing our vulnerabilities and strengths, and sharing our light with the world, Just like Jesus empowered His disciples to do. T.D. Jakes once said, “If you can’t figure out your purpose, figure out your passion. For your passion will lead you right into your purpose.”

Moving Forward Together

As we move through 2024 and beyond, remember we’re all travelers, connected by our shared humanity and unique stories. Allow God to guide you, let love prevail, and let your journey be a manifestation of the human spirit’s enduring power.
As always, we’re in this together! Keep it pure, keep it a buck, and stay true to your values. We’re in this together!

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